...candice lost and found...

It's amazing to think that the girls are just about at 8.5 months old. Their smiling faces and laughter are just about the best parts of my day. I imagine that most parents are overwhelming in love with their children, but I like to think that my love for those little girls transcends all human thinking. I am a completely different person now. The person who started the infertility journey is long gone. She has been replaced with someone different. I like to think that the three ladies growing inside me left their imprint on my soul and changed me forever. I believe that they have. I am more patient and respectful than I was previously. I am calmer about certain things and more neurotic about others. I am very easily distracted and very very forgetful. I am a mom. I am saying this to lead into a totally unrelated, but semi-related discussion. It involves my previous post, the one about the blogger who publicly announced her reduction. I broke down and read her blog. Not all o...

I feel safe enough to say that I have not blogged at all, not because having triplets is too time consuming (though at times it is), but because I have really just been lazy. I don't want to bore you with all the details leading up to us delivering the girls, but I had HELLP and pre-e and they just needed to be here. I was 33 weeks 4 days and it was my grandfather's birthday. After their delivery my brother saw a double rainbow in the sky...though somewhere I am sure there was a third. I may be biased, but I delivered three miracle angels. I believe this even when they are on their third hour of crying, at 2 am when they wake crying for a pacifier, when I really have to pee and can't. I believe this every morning when I wake up and every night when I go to sleep. They are the best things that have ever happened to Michael and me. I cannot imagine our life without them. Some days I find the triplet mom community to be excluding. Some days so helpful. I often found the ...

Have you ever asked yourself, "How did I get here?"? I actually never thought I would be in this situation. I had resigned myself to the fact that something would go horribly wrong. I haven't posted because I was using all of my strength to ensure that I stayed positive. It's sometimes more difficult to stay positive when you can write anything you want. I stayed positive. I prayed and went to church, something I wasn't inclined to do before this whole journey began. And now I have wonderful and exciting and terrible and scary news. All my fighting and praying and OCD obsession with the number 3 and here I am pregnant with triplets. 6w4d. All three had heartbeats. All three up on that screen and the doctor was not happy. The risks are great. The risks are so great that I had to make a specialist appointment immediately following the ultrasound. I ruined that moment for my husband. That moment where he could scream at the top of his lungs that this had fina...