...candice lost and found...

On Friday, my three beautiful baby girls will be one. I cannot believe a year has flown away so quickly. Everyone said that the time would pass so fast, but I just cannot believe how fast it really has gone. When I was pregnant and trying to figure out what to expect, what to buy, what kinds of things I would be in for, there wasn't really anyone who could have prepared me. Even the triplet moms that offered up some advice couldn't have prepared me. Each one of us (singleton moms, twin moms, etc.) are going to handle this whole adventure differently, it's the nature of being human, it's also very dependent on the type of children you have. If I could go back in time and tell myself some things here is what they would be... Go out and buy more bibs...the realistic kind...the kind that don't have applique or any other froofy stuff. The bigger the better...you will need them...I promise. Get the bumpers. It doesn't matter if they match, but eventually you will...

It's hard to believe that in about two short weeks, my precious baby girls will be one. At the start of this journey, I definitely did not picture this day. In fact, I'm certain I have said it before, I have hit a point in my life that I had never imagined. I am living a life that I did not have the ability or wherewithal to picture or dream. My life right now is better and more amazing than anything I could have conjured up. In December, I was diagnosed with multiple sclerosis (MS from here on out). I had always known that something was wrong, but did not have the definitive diagnosis until December 7. I reconfirmed today with a second opinion and got the ball rolling on treatment. It has taken a lot for me to write any of this. It really has taken a lot for me to admit that I am afraid. I think of those three precious babies and I worry that I won't be the mom that they deserve because of something that I may not be able to avoid. I worry that I don't take good en...

It's amazing to think that the girls are just about at 8.5 months old. Their smiling faces and laughter are just about the best parts of my day. I imagine that most parents are overwhelming in love with their children, but I like to think that my love for those little girls transcends all human thinking. I am a completely different person now. The person who started the infertility journey is long gone. She has been replaced with someone different. I like to think that the three ladies growing inside me left their imprint on my soul and changed me forever. I believe that they have. I am more patient and respectful than I was previously. I am calmer about certain things and more neurotic about others. I am very easily distracted and very very forgetful. I am a mom. I am saying this to lead into a totally unrelated, but semi-related discussion. It involves my previous post, the one about the blogger who publicly announced her reduction. I broke down and read her blog. Not all o...

I feel safe enough to say that I have not blogged at all, not because having triplets is too time consuming (though at times it is), but because I have really just been lazy. I don't want to bore you with all the details leading up to us delivering the girls, but I had HELLP and pre-e and they just needed to be here. I was 33 weeks 4 days and it was my grandfather's birthday. After their delivery my brother saw a double rainbow in the sky...though somewhere I am sure there was a third. I may be biased, but I delivered three miracle angels. I believe this even when they are on their third hour of crying, at 2 am when they wake crying for a pacifier, when I really have to pee and can't. I believe this every morning when I wake up and every night when I go to sleep. They are the best things that have ever happened to Michael and me. I cannot imagine our life without them. Some days I find the triplet mom community to be excluding. Some days so helpful. I often found the ...

Here I am at 30 weeks 3 days. I cannot believe I have made it this far! Bed rest definitely got easier when we reached viability. I feel safer every week that passes and really just can't wait to meet our girls. Pregnancy has really mellowed me out and I am hoping that once the girls get here, I can maintain this sense of cool. Michael and I discuss it each day. How we are a team and we need to go into this with the team mentality. We have been through so much together that raising triplet girls isn't going to be the thing that tears us down, but the thing that builds us up to another level of marriage, coupledom, friendship and love. It is uncomfortable at this point in the pregnancy. My whole body feels sore and I am sure part of that is due to the inability to do much. I am not a small girl either. I am 5'10" with a solid frame (ie, I am built like a linebacker). I cannot imagine the girls who do this who are short and petite. But, as the doctor says, it is a mara...

I keep trying to remind myself that this is a marathon and not a sprint, but I honest think at this point, most pregnant with triplets would be willing the time to go faster (and without complications). I had two bouts of heavy contractions over the Thanksgiving holiday weekend. Thursday (of course I had to bother the doctor on the holiday itself) and then on Saturday. I was so grateful that the Procardia kicked in and I didn't have to go to the hospital for poking and prodding! At this morning's doctor visit all three babies had great heartbeats and I was measuring at about 8 months pregnant. We have reached viability which is crucial though I still want my girls to continue baking for a while longer. I also had my steroid shots over the weekend so their lungs will start to develop more rapidly, just in case they decide to come early. Fingers crossed that they don't! In the beginning, maybe my second MFM visit, the doctor said the first goal would be 20 weeks, then 24 ...

I barely made it into 23 weeks before I was back in the hospital. It started Friday with contractions and I would say that I have probably been having contractions for awhile. Nothing changing my cervix, but still contractions none the less. After the first L&D stay, it was pretty clear that I had an irritable uterus, but yesterday's contractions were much stronger than I had previously felt. Saturday was my baby shower. My mom thought she would do it earlier since we didn't know where I would be at later in the pregnancy. I am superstitious, but have been trying not to be. My big thing since starting treatments and finally being blessed with three baby girls, is to not be too cocky. God is in control. Well, I refuse to open anything from the shower (not unwrap, but actually open), because I really don't want to jinx anything or get too cocky. I don't want to open and assemble any cribs or anything else. I'm too nervous that it means I'm getting too cocky....