24 Weeks 2 Days

I keep trying to remind myself that this is a marathon and not a sprint, but I honest think at this point, most pregnant with triplets would be willing the time to go faster (and without complications). I had two bouts of heavy contractions over the Thanksgiving holiday weekend. Thursday (of course I had to bother the doctor on the holiday itself) and then on Saturday. I was so grateful that the Procardia kicked in and I didn't have to go to the hospital for poking and prodding!

At this morning's doctor visit all three babies had great heartbeats and I was measuring at about 8 months pregnant. We have reached viability which is crucial though I still want my girls to continue baking for a while longer. I also had my steroid shots over the weekend so their lungs will start to develop more rapidly, just in case they decide to come early. Fingers crossed that they don't!

In the beginning, maybe my second MFM visit, the doctor said the first goal would be 20 weeks, then 24 weeks, then 28 weeks. It feels great to be onto the third goal already. I felt that time had been going  by so slowly, but now I feel that there is a light at the end of the tunnel. After some praying and soul-searching, it seems I have come to a point where I feel strong enough to do this and am trying not to give into the fears and worries that creep into my mind daily.

This experience has prepared me for the idea that parenting will never be worry free (not that I ever believed that it could be). That each day will bring new and different worries and it is our choice as parents to decide what to really worry about and what to let go. I am doing my best to let go of some of the worries I have about the girls for right now. There is nothing I can do to control things. I just have to be strong for them, take care of myself and stay on bed rest (as difficult as it is sometimes to literally sit on the computer all day and not move from the couch).

I think of all the women who had to be on hospital bed rest and I feel for them. I think it must be so much more difficult to be in a hospital bed 24/7 than able to move from couch to bed and see my husband and dogs daily. Just to not even be able to be in your own environment must be difficult. I am glad (and lucky) that I am not that point yet. My doctors have reminded me that it could still be a possibility, but for now, I am quite content here at home on bed rest (at least today).


23 Weeks

I barely made it into 23 weeks before I was back in the hospital. It started Friday with contractions and I would say that I have probably been having contractions for awhile. Nothing changing my cervix, but still contractions none the less. After the first L&D stay, it was pretty clear that I had an irritable uterus, but yesterday's contractions were much stronger than I had previously felt.

Saturday was my baby shower. My mom thought she would do it earlier since we didn't know where I would be at later in the pregnancy. I am superstitious, but have been trying not to be. My big thing since starting treatments and finally being blessed with three baby girls, is to not be too cocky. God is in control. Well, I refuse to open anything from the shower (not unwrap, but actually open), because I really don't want to jinx anything or get too cocky. I don't want to open and assemble any cribs or anything else. I'm too nervous that it means I'm getting too cocky.

The shower was beautiful and it was so nice to see so many people come out for my girls, my family, for me. We received so many beautiful, wonderful gifts and our girls are spoiled already. We are truly blessed.

After the shower, I was exhausted, but I couldn't sleep at all. I stayed up tossing and turning until 2:45 am and then finally fell asleep, only to wake up at 7:00 am. I took it easy on Sunday and literally did nothing, but lay on the couch and watch TV. By 5:00 pm my contractions were getting stronger and there were more of them. I called the doctor, but he just said to call the office in the morning and set up an appointment to come in, unless that is, you have 6 contractions in an hour or less. By 5:44 pm I had had my sixth and I was calling the doctor again. Within minutes we were driving to the hospital and I was nervous. My husband was even more so and even though we are best friends, we do so badly when both of us are freaked out about the same thing.

Hospitals are scary, but labor and delivery nurses (in my very limited experience) are very pleasant and helpful people. They do a good job of calming your nerves, while also being honest and informative. I don't like being a pain, but they always say that it's better to come in and nothing be wrong then not to come in at all. I believe them (halfway), but still end up feeling like such a pain when I leave.

Last night I was glad that I called and went to the hospital. They were able to stop the contractions with some type of asthma medicine (it began with a "B", but for the life of me, I can't remember). I only needed one dose to get rid of the very strong ones. My FFN test came back negative and my cervix was closed and still over 4 cm, so all of that was positive. I was sent home.

I woke up ready to follow-up with the OB as told, but ended up having some spotting first thing. I was so freaked out by that and panicked immediately. After seeing the OB this morning, they determined that the spotting was most likely due to the pelvic exam I had at the hospital last night.

I hate bleeding. It's just one of the worst things that can happen while you are pregnant. I know it is so common, but I just cannot stand it. It freaks me out more than anything else. If you have ever had a miscarriage, bleeding can always feel like the beginning of the end. It was hard to just have a regular period after. I think from now on, it will always make me feel like something is wrong.

My OB also put me on Procardia to help minimize my contractions, which they said were just because I was pregnant with triplets and measuring at 36 weeks, even though I am only 23. It is "normal" for a triplet pregnancy to experience contractions and the Procardia will just keep them at bay, hopefully.

We are also having two days of steroid shots this week, once we are 24 weeks. Saturday and Sunday we will go to the hospital to receive them. They will hopefully jump start the girls' lung development and hopefully make them stronger, just in case we have to deliver earlier than we would like to.

The ultimate goal is to make it to 30+ weeks, but my short term goals are to make it to 24 weeks and then from there make it to 28 weeks. It sounds and feels so far away, but I am hoping that I will be able to pass the time quickly with work and non-stressful things like TV and reading.

I pray for my girls to continue growing and for the strength my body needs to continue to hold them in there. I still don't understand how anyone could say they "loved" being pregnant. It just seems crazy to me at this point.


22 Weeks

I am coming to the end of my 22nd week of being pregnant with triplet girls. Our lives have changed so much since finding out we were pregnant, to finding out it was triplets, to finding out it was three girls and I am grateful and happy for the opportunity to continue to have our lives change over and over again. My husband and I have this inside joke where we say (very dramatically I might add) "I never thought it would happen". It did not arise from our struggles getting pregnant at all, but we have used it time and time again. Just in this instance when we say it, it's true. We never thought we would be here, never thought we would have made it these far, or have this wonderful opportunity. For us it is an opportunity. A true blessing (or three) from God. And not for one second do we take it for granted. We are two of the lucky ones.

At this point in the pregnancy, the goal is 24 weeks. After 24 weeks the goal is 28 weeks. After 28 weeks the goal is 32 weeks. And it keeps going. Throughout a pregnancy, especially of a person who has had trouble getting pregnant or has had losses, there are these goals or milestones as the doctors call them. You are trying to reach 12 weeks for so long to be in the safe zone. The safe zone is actually so much farther away with triplets. I guess, I never took the time to realize that until this week. Time has slowed in these past two weeks trying to get to the 24 week goal. Perhaps it is because I am now on bed rest (precautionary) and have far too much time on hands (work gets done much faster from home because there are so many less distractions!). Or perhaps it is because during week 21, I spent a few hours in Labor and Delivery because I felt "weird".

At this week's OB visit the doctor prescribed "Positive Thinking" so that is what I am going to do. Try to remain positive for these next several weeks (it better be several), even though it goes against all the "What ifs" in my blood. I understand the importance of it. It's just so difficult to do.

I ask God for the peace and strength to remain positive. And when all else fails I sing the song that plays on the Billy Big Mouth Bass in our garage..."Don't worry, be happy."