30 Weeks 3 Days

Here I am at 30 weeks 3 days. I cannot believe I have made it this far! Bed rest definitely got easier when we reached viability. I feel safer every week that passes and really just can't wait to meet our girls. Pregnancy has really mellowed me out and I am hoping that once the girls get here, I can maintain this sense of cool. Michael and I discuss it each day. How we are a team and we need to go into this with the team mentality. We have been through so much together that raising triplet girls isn't going to be the thing that tears us down, but the thing that builds us up to another level of marriage, coupledom, friendship and love.

It is uncomfortable at this point in the pregnancy. My whole body feels sore and I am sure part of that is due to the inability to do much. I am not a small girl either. I am 5'10" with a solid frame (ie, I am built like a linebacker). I cannot imagine the girls who do this who are short and petite. But, as the doctor says, it is a marathon, not a sprint. Still I feel myself inching towards the finish line.

Very rarely do I do this, but I just came across it today while searching for something else and it really moved me. Infertility is very taboo and I have taken it on as a personal goal of mine to spread awareness of the issue as best I can. It's such a silent problem. It is so unnerving that most women and men in the situation feel so alone. I would like to change that in my lifetime. So today I came across the song that Jay-Z (Sean Carter) wrote about his daughter with Beyonce Knowles. The lyrics are so moving and powerful and I hear the words about their miscarriage and feel the weight of their pain. I feel the weight because it was the weight of Michael's and my pain. It is still there and will always be. I find it admirable that he had the courage to put these words out there.

So I leave you with them. I cannot wait to feel "the most amazing feeling I feel".

The most amazing feeling I feel
Words can't describe the feeling, for real
Baby I paint the sky blue
My greatest creation was you, you: Glory

[Verse 1]
False alarms and false starts
All made better by the sound of your heart
All the pain of the last time
I prayed so hard it was the last time
Your mama said that you danced for her
Did you wiggle your hands for her?
Glory! Glory! Glory! Sorry
Everything that I prayed for
God's gift, I wish I woulda prayed more
God makes no mistakes, I made a few
Rough sledding here and there, but I made it through
I wreak havoc on the world
Get ready for part two
A younger, smarter faster me
So a pinch of Hov, a whole glass of Bé


[Verse 2]
Your Grandpop died of nigga failure
Then he died of liver failure
Deep down he was a good man
Goddamn, I can't deliver failure
Bad-ass lil Hov
Two years old, shopping on Savile Row
Wicked-ass lil B
Hard not to spoil you rotten, looking like little me
The most beautifulest thing in this world
Is daddy's little girl
You don't yet know what swag is but you was made in Paris
And mama woke up the next day and shot her album package
Last time the miscarriage was so tragic
We was afraid you'd disappear, but nah, baby, you magic
So there you have it, shit happens
Just make sure the plane you on is bigger than your carry-on baggage
Everybody go through stuff
Life is a gift, love, open it up
You're a child of destiny
You're the child of my destiny
You're my child with the child from Destiny's Child
That's a hell of a recipe
Glory! Glory! Glory! Sorry..


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