the beta tango

When trying to become pregnant when you are a normal girl, there is a certain amount of anxiety each month. A wondering and hoping feeling. When trying to become pregnant while having some sort of fertility issue, it is as though you are walking on hot coals that are at the same time spitting hot fire on your face...and oh yeah you have to do the tango...backwards.

The problem really isn't that you have problems getting pregnant and therefore are more anxious. No the problem is that you are so attune with what is going on in your body that you actually are aware of things far too early and then have to tango longer than a person who is "normal".

I just went through the beta tango. First beta 35...low, but not as low as it could be. Should be 50. Closer to 50 than 0. I am hoping for the good. Just need it to double. Second beta 39. Looks bad...move on.

Only you don't move on right away. You are hurt and sad. You were close but lost. It just stinks. Then you want to move on but can't. You have to get to 0. So third beta will be tomorrow. Unnecessary blood work if you ask me, but nurse says it is for my own safety. It will be interesting to see what the number is. I hope it's low...I actually hope it's 8,000 and all is OK, just a bit of a beginner scare, but I know that will not be the case. Thus the beta tango. "It's a sharp dizzy merry-go-round."

beta foxtrot tango charlie...out

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